Spoiler alert: adulthood is 96% of you going “well, I hope this is how it works and I’ll keep doing it till someone yells at me”
'I found an old picture of you and I together last night. I know you’re thinking that I’m writing this to you because I still love you but I know I don’t. I forgot how to love you. I was just thinking of how crazy it is to think that a year ago, I was spilling blood over you. I still can’t believe that I let you have that much of me. I haven’t been able to give myself like that to anyone else. It makes me puke to think that I was yours before I was ever my own. I let you hear my voice at 4 a.m and I let you see the insides of my soul. I think that’s what made it so hard for me to unclench my fists, that’s what made it so hard to understand that you were no good for me but I know better now. I know I loved you but I also know that it wasn’t enough, not enough for you but I know that it can be for someone else.'
'And if you call me at 4 am, too sad to even say hello, I will listen to your silence until you fall asleep. If you need to cry I will not wipe your tears away because you are only human and sometimes tears are as close to laughter as you can get and that’s okay. If you get sleepy I will let you drool on my arm and I won’t laugh at you if you snore too loud. If you need to yell so hard that your voice cracks and your knees fail I will hold you up and yell with you. If you get so angry you punch your hands red I will ice your knuckles and tell you that wounds heal both inside and out, and just like the cold that is harsh and burning, I will always be the warmth to soothe you and make you feel better. I will love you.'
Leggings are awesome…
It’s like wearing pants, without actually having to wear pants. Win win
Just laying here and I’m in pain. I hate this. 12 years of this, and the rest of my life to go. Sometimes I wish I could just die. Or atleast had someone who loved me to hold my hand through this.. Then maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Blah..